But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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