We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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