she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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