I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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