I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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