Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
