Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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