My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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