Define "chronic" masturbator.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
