I wish my penis had an off switch
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
God, I missed his penis.
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