You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
did you just send me my own nude
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
