Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
