I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
not ubering you a puppy
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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