Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
