FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
