Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I got inside last night via doggy door
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
