There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
