Just cropdusted the office
two words: eviction party
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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