Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize