he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
