I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wear drunk well.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
