I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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