I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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