I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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