I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
