Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We left the knife in your bed.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize