just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize