Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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