Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize