dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize