So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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