at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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