I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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