I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You left your phone here
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