hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
