Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
