ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
