I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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