did you get engaged???
i jhust puked up my retainher.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
two words...techno handjob
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
