They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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