The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
