I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Randomize
