Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
