chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
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