I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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