Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
