belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
