She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
