3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
