No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
