What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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