Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize