are you still at the devil's house?
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
