Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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  (858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm
  Replies (15) Good night (4449) Bad night (558)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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  (613): the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek http://tfl.nu/bytn
  Replies (5) Good night (995) Bad night (3674)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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  (613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/nxz1
  Replies (35) Good night (12150) Bad night (1350)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.

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  (765): I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work. http://tfl.nu/q42i
  Replies (33) Good night (6051) Bad night (3081)
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  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (22) Good night (14431) Bad night (1295)
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  (619): View more from California

  Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

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  (619): Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich http://tfl.nu/k8p8
  Replies (14) Good night (6322) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level

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  (780): they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level http://tfl.nu/15nb
  Replies (19) Good night (1728) Bad night (1303)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined

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  (561): I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined http://tfl.nu/31mt
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (574)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.

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  (910): I gasped. Both pairs of lips did. http://tfl.nu/2kuf
  Replies (4) Good night (2531) Bad night (1132)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..

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  (217): Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself.. http://tfl.nu/ozpb
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (640)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"

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  (314): Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face" http://tfl.nu/5wsk
  Replies (3) Good night (1257) Bad night (482)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?

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  (732): I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet? http://tfl.nu/fv2m
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken

  (716): View more from New York

  Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.

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  (615): Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken (716): Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital. http://tfl.nu/50ab
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.

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  (760): He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/b6x4
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?

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  (217): Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth? http://tfl.nu/2a59
  Replies (1) Good night (216) Bad night (124)

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