Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  You surviving the open bar?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Super asto ex polenta omaha botad

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  (512): You surviving the open bar? (1-512): Super asto ex polenta omaha botad http://tfl.nu/tyvd
  Replies (15) Good night (1881) Bad night (637)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.

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  (248): I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice. http://tfl.nu/zl11
  Replies (22) Good night (975) Bad night (6636)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

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  (203): whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard http://tfl.nu/amtb
  Replies (28) Good night (803) Bad night (3958)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  You and your mom would make an amazing tag team

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  (614): My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex (1-614): You and your mom would make an amazing tag team http://tfl.nu/l8wh
  Replies (23) Good night (8163) Bad night (1373)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (1388)
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  (909): View more from California

  Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?

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  (909): Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy? http://tfl.nu/bd8h
  Replies (7) Good night (446) Bad night (1485)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.

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  (206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/wvly
  Replies (4) Good night (1743) Bad night (596)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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  (423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk
  Replies (6) Good night (1747) Bad night (498)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  I told you to check, dude

  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.

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  (904): Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday. (1-904): I told you to check, dude (904): Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out. http://tfl.nu/ef5z
  Replies (14) Good night (1554) Bad night (614)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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  (647): Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face. http://tfl.nu/pfop
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (732)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.

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  (306): Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/y8xh
  Replies (22) Good night (664) Bad night (1417)
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  (707): View more from California

  Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..

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  (707): Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult.. http://tfl.nu/smpu
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (354)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol

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  (918): I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol http://tfl.nu/o8ad
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (309)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.

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  (216): You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw. http://tfl.nu/q8ar
  Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (242)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO

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  (717): AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO http://tfl.nu/2gy7
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (169)

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