btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.