Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.