I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
