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• (214): View more from Texas

  btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer

  (214): View more from Texas

  i owe you one

  (469): View more from Texas

  thanks for snagging those panties for me

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Hurt me personally.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I worry about you sometimes...

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

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• (951): View more from California

  I didn't know people actually cried after sex.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (661): View more from California

  I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.

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