Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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