Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

Fav 19 1080 4018
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.

Fav 11 2341 1019
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Little spoons don't ask big questions

Fav 18 4721 1136
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

Fav 43 6751 1318
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(646): View more from New York

vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

Fav 41 4594 1042
share tweet
(423): View more from Tennessee

i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.

Fav 11 4068 1177
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(641): View more from Iowa

Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?

Fav 10 2472 1461
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

Fav 0 903 564
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.

Fav 2 952 462
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT