Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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