Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
