I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The power of my boobs compel you
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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