just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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